Watching SNL today with my man (not a 1D fan).
Story of my Life Comes on.
Louis steps up.
Man: Oh my God. I just want to feed him.
It’s weird when you get an outsider’s perspective like that.
no shirt no shoes still service
the road is melted to my feet
fucking bugs are fucking everywhere
where’s the fucking mortein
if this post gets 50k notes i will destroy the moon
goodbye moon, you won’t be missed
if a guy stares at ur boobs
just stare at his dick
maybe squint a little bit
One time I was at the grocery store with my mom when an older man starts staring at my ass and the worst part was that he was standing next to his wife and kids so I start staring at his crotch and squinting really hard even tilted my head to the side a little and let me tell you I have never seen anyone look more embarrassed in my life and I have never felt more accomplished it was fantastic
so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
puffer fish are so cute when they arent inflated they just look like theyre smiling all the time aw
TRY TO PET ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER!
I’m sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you’d do.
Ylvis, educating people about the female reproductive system.
these guys will be the death of me.[x]
i died at the pH value
I just learnt more about the vagina in like 10 seconds than I have ever learnt in my entire life
Debating whether or not I should share this with my anatomy and physiology professor.
THIS IS THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME